The Silver Screen

Jarhead - (2005)

2006-03-17T22:07:00.000-08:00

This was easily the most underrated movie of 2005. I loved this film!

Jake Gyllenhaal and Jamie Foxx were autostanding in this story of frustration in the desert during the first Gulf War. A lot of people complained about the fact that nothing really seems to happen in this film and it think they are missing the point of this story. Nothing is happening! You have an entire army sitting in the desert for endless months and nothing happens... You have men conditioned to kill who have nothing to shoot... Nothing happens! And when things finally start happening... well... You'll have to see for yourself.

Rating: HR
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Sin City 2 - "A Dame to Kill For..."

2006-03-15T18:20:00.000-08:00

Holy crap! I'm excited! Sin City was one of my favs for 2005 and it looks like Frank Miller's B&W classic will be back for more...

BIG TIME RUMOR! Angelina Jolie will be in it...

The Aristocrats (2005)

2005-11-16T14:10:00.000-08:00

I saw this film months ago and have been meaning to give it a plug and since it is coming soon to DVD I thought there would be no time like the present.

Wow... Vulgar doesn't even begin to describe this movie... Vulgar like goatse, tubgirl, or hia2U... But my GOD is it funny!!! And who knew Bob Sagat was such a sick fuck?

So what is it? The Aristocrats is a joke told by comedians to other comedians as a pissing contest as to who can be the most crass...

See the South Park joke for just a taste...

Rating: HR (but not for your mother!!!)
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Back at it... (aka 6-month recap)

2005-08-30T18:58:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, my movie-going slowed quite a bit during the spring and the summer. (Reasons... School, lack of $$$, and WoW...) Hopefully, I'll get back into the swing of things soon... In the mean time, I thought I'd mention a few films a saw over the last half-year that I though were worth-while (they are mostly Genre films, but remember I am stuck in Spokane, WA)...

Batman Begins - I love you Christopher Nolan!! FU Joel!! Katie is annoying, but watchable... Batman back to being Batman and not being... well... Gay Batman... Good stuff!

Sin City - Flawless adaptation of Frank Miller's comic... I've watched it three times since buying the DVD... Loved it!

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Johnny Depp is fantastic again... what else is new? BTW... To the people who think Depp is imitating Michael Jackson... YOU ARE READING THINGS IN THAT WERE NEVER THERE!!! SHEESH!!! Willy Wonka is not a pedophile...

Star Wars Episode III - Revenge of the Sith - Is it a film without flaws? No... But is it a film that manages to capture the spirit of the originals? Yes!

Well... That is all I can think of for now... Hope to see you again soon!

Oscar "shocker!"... Chris Rock is controversial!

2005-02-14T11:19:00.000-08:00

And in other news... The world is round.

Last night the Drudge Report broke a story that some of the academy members are calling for Chris Rock's removal from the show after a controversial interview in Entertainment Weekly where Rock states: "I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it's a fashion show." and "What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one!"

An article in Variety denies that Rock will be removed.

People are surprised??? This is the same guy who made the tossed salad man famous!!!

It's like the old crusty academy people suddenly woke up and said, "Oh sh*t!! Billyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!"

Update (2:30PM): More from Drudge...

Update (3:20PM): Other media outlets picking up on Matt Drudge's personal vendetta against Rock... Considering the way this is shaping up, I'm suspecting that Drudge is at the heart of this whole thing. Though I'm sure he wouldn't have trouble finding some academy people to jump on board.

Final update (11:16PM): Hmmm... Well, well... This isn't the first time that Rock and Drudge have locked horns... Flashback to March 2003. Another amusing item: GLAAD issued a statement saying that "Chris Rock isn't making fun of gays -- he's poking fun at the Oscars."

Personally, I think that the academy should stick to it and let Rock present. Hell! All of Matt Drudge's whining probably will probably just boost ratings. But in this *is* television post-Nipplegate... The academy will probably fold.

Spokane International Film Festival Roundup - (2005)

2005-02-12T17:26:00.000-08:00

The festival came to a close on Thursday night, and I just wanted to take a moment to marvel at how good of a festival it was. Is it the next Sundance? Hell, no... But this is the coolest thing to happen to Spokane film snobs in... well... ever!

My thanks to festival director Bob Glatzer and the countless others that put this thing together, thanks to the AMC for hosting, and thanks to the people in Spokane who showed up and showed that this little town does actually have some culture!

I only made it to five of the fifteen offerings (darn that student thing!) If I'm still here next year, I'll make it to more!

SIFF Posts Index -

Introduction

Angel on the Right (Farishtay Kitfi Rost) - (2002, Tajikistan)

The Green Hat (Lu Mao Zi) - (2004, China)

The Thin Man - (1934, USA)

Run Lola Run (Lola Rennt) - (1998, Germany)

Heaven - (2002, Italy)

Closing (same as this post)

Personal Awards -
Best New Film - The Green Hat
Best Acting Performance - Congxi Li, The Green Hat
Best Short Film - Fetch

Spokane International Film Festival Website ->

Heaven - (2002, Italy)

2005-02-11T18:31:00.000-08:00

Spokane International Film Festival (Day 8) - The final film of the SIFF brought out another near-sellout crowd. I can't say enough how impressed I have been with both the films and the festival itself. Kudos all around!

Again there was no short film to lead us off, which was mildly disappointing... But I guess they only got a limited number of them or something.

Tonight's film, Heaven, was written by Krzysztof Kieslowski (director/scribe of the Blue, White, Red trilogy) just before his death in 1996. It was intended to be the first of a Heaven, purgatory, Hell trilogy. As a tribute, Tom Tykwer took over and made the film starring Cate Blanchett and Giovanni Ribisi.

The film opens powerfully with a woman (Blanchett) placing an explosive device in a office building with a executive as the target. However, a cleaning lady accidentally removes the device while taking out the trash and the bomb ends up going off in an elevator killing the cleaning lady, a father, and two little girls. Blanchett is arrested and swears that the exec she targeted was the head of a drug ring and she never meant to hurt anyone else.

Ribisi plays the interpreter that is assigned to translate her interrogation. He is young and impressionable and quickly falls for Blanchett, eventually helping her escape.

The trouble with a character-driven film such as this one is that it depends on you connecting with *at least* one of the characters, or even just find them interesting... Something I never did. I found Blanchett to be self-centered and, regardless of what her words say, without remorse. Rabisi, on the other hand, is naive and pathetic. He even wets the bed.

The film seems to want us to get so caught up in their romance that we are supposed to forget that Blanchett murdered four innocent people (including two children), for no more noble reason than revenge. She may say that she did it to protect her students, but I personally think that it has more to do with her ex-husband's fate.

It's difficult to be so harsh on a film that is filled with solid acting and breathtaking imagery... But sometimes you just don't buy it.

Rating: OK
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Run Lola Run (Lola rennt) - (1998, Germany)

2005-02-10T12:32:00.000-08:00

Spokane International Film Festival (Day 7) - Well... The younger crowd finally showed. No surprise really due to the cult following that Run Lola Run has started to develop in the US. Still... It would have been nice to see a few younger people in the seats sooner than this.

No short today, so straight into the main feature!

Run Lola Run is one of the most original films out there. It tells the story of Lola's quest to save her idiot boyfriend's life by getting 100,000 marks in 20 minutes. So, how can a 20+ minute story translate into a 80 minute movie? Easy... Tell the story three times! This unique method of storytelling lets an otherwise simple story turn into an examination of fate, chance, and consequence.

How many times have we all asked ourselves, what would have happened if only I had been just *one* second earlier? This film shows us...

But don't let that give you the impression that the film is all highbrow or something... It is a pulse pounding, non-stop thrill ride that never gets old.

I had never seen Run Lola Run in a theatre before and it was a serious treat! The thumping techno soundtrack and frantic on-screen action evelops with intensity on a level you could never see in your home.

This film was the first of the SIFF's tribute to director Tom Tykwer. Also featured will be The Princess and the Warrior and Heaven.

Talk about nappy! (Trivia) - What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Run Lola Run? For me it is Franka Potente's fiery red hair. According to IMDB, Franka didn't wash her hair for *seven* weeks of filming, because the red coloring was sensitive to water and would have washed out...

Rating: HR
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Million Dollar Baby (Revisited)

2005-02-09T15:48:00.000-08:00

Alright... I can't wait any longer.

***If you haven't seen the film, turn away. NOW!***

There is a line in Million Dollar Baby where Maggie (Swank) says to Frankie (Eastwood) that she could see him off in a cabin somewhere... Away from it all. Living out his days in peace. (I'm paraphrasing, but you know what I am refering to.)

It is this line that has haunted me and continues to haunt me from this film. Why? Because even as she says those words, I could see Maggie there too. Peacefully living out her life. Maybe not off in a cabin literally, but still... She could find her peace. But that realization is so quickly snapped away by Maggie herself. She doesn't believe it.

I think that is what breaks my heart so much about Million Dollar Baby.

Maggie doesn't want to make peace with what has happened to her. She believes that death is the only peace that can be had. And being the fighter that she is, she fights to die. And being as subborn as she is, she will never stop until she dies. Frankie knows this and it is for this reason that he helps her, dispite the fact that he doesn't want to...

I know many of you may think that I am being overly romantic. She could never find peace. She was trapped and death was her only was out of a long, sad, lonely existence. But there was something in that one single moment that I can't shake.

Whether you agree with me or not is beside the point. It is the fact that we are still having this duscussion weeks later that makes this the best film of the year. Hands down.

The Thin Man - (1934, USA)

2005-02-08T20:11:00.000-08:00

Spokane International Film Festival (Day 5) - The turnout for this event continues to amaze me, but not in terms of the number of people (which I have already rambled on about endlessly), but in terms of the relative age that I have seen at these films. The most common attendee is middle-aged, wealthly looking, and *very* white... Shame on the college crowd!!! You know, the same people that will constantly bitch about how there is no culture in Spokane...

Tonight's short was a serious disappointment. Its title was "The Stickup" but after what it did to the theatre, it should have been renamed "The Stinkup"! It tried to 'cleverly' tell the tale of a older couple who was 'spicing up' their sex life by pretending to be kidnapper and victim. Every joke in this feels forced and ultimately fails. It's sad when a film is only a few minutes long and you still want those moments of your life back...

Luckily, this pile was not indicative of what was to come...

One part film noir, one part screwball comedy, and one part Sherlock Holmes, (plus about six parts booze), The Thin Man is a classic in every sense of the word.

It is a story of a murder (or two) and a reluctant detective who (along with his wife and his terrier) drinks his way to solving the case. It starts of rather slow, but once we meet our interpid hero the laughs *never* stop.

The script is clever, the characters are delightful, the actors' comedic timing is magnificant (especially stars William Powell and Myrna Loy)... Hell! Even the dog is great!

I found it particularily interesting how much sexual inuendo is used between Powell and Loy. They may sleep in seperate beds, but they say some pretty suggestive stuff for 1934!

What a great film. I can't believe that I wasn't familiar with it until now! It has immediately vaulted onto my list of alltime favorites.

Historical note - 'The Thin Man' was nominated for four Academy Awards (Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Director, and Best Adapted Screenplay) but ultimately did not collect any Oscars. They all went to a little film called 'It Happened One Night'...

Rating: HR
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The Green Hat (Lu mao zi) - (2004, China)

2005-02-07T23:57:00.000-08:00

Spokane International Film Festival (Day 4) - My second day at the festival was post Super Bowl drunkenness and gluttony... Needless to say, Kat and I pounded some Starbucks to keep ourselves going for the night's screening. The theatre wasn't as full as the night before, but was still impressive for the evening of the aforementioned Super Bowl. (Side note - McNabb is an f'ing idiot! I've *never* seen a slower 'hurry up' offense... But I digress...)

Tonight's feature will be The Green Hat (Dir: Fendou Liu)which our little festival bills as a 'US Premier'. Nice idea, but actually the film was screened at the Tribeca Film Festival in NYC last spring, winning the "Best Narrative Feature" and "Best New Narrative Filmmaker" awards. (Do your research people!)

The film opens with the US short film The Old Man and the Studio (2004, Dir: Eric Champnella). It tells the story of the Hollywood adaptation (read: bastardization) of Hemmingway's "The Old Man and the Sea." After countless rewrites ("Are you sold on the sea? Filming on water is just so expensive..."), the reworked "Fishing for Love" is ready to debut; at which time Hemmingway promptly 'ends it all'... Amusing enough... (Great poster in the background: Vin Diesel stars in "Great E~xXx~pectations")

The Green Hat itself was a fascinating film. As it began, it appears to be a crime story. Three companions meet on a beach at dawn and, after a little conversation, they execute a long-planned bank robbery. The story isn't really about that.

In fact, there is a robbery, a hostage situation, and a suicide all in the opening moments of the film, and the film is about none of the things. What is at the film's heart can be summed up in a question one of the robbers poses to a police officer during the height of the hostage standoff... "What is love?" The bewildered police officer's reply, "Shit man! I don't know... Just two people liking each other I guess..." The robber disagrees and gives his own vision of undying love, a love that he has just lost, before turning his pistol on himself...

It is ironic that this police officer would be asked such a question as he is trapped within a loveless marriage to a woman who seems to have never loved him. He blames this fact on his own sexual impotence... And once we see his wife lie limp as a blow-up doll during their sex, it is no wonder that he can't do the deed. In fact, in some later scenes, (*possible spoilers ahead*) the officer visits a prostitute to try out some new impotence meds, though I wonder if her pleasant demeanor and kindness have more to do with his improved performance. This is suggested to by his only request to her, "Say you love me while we do it..."

Of course, his wife already has someone new (hence the "Green Hat" term, which refers to a man whose wife is having as affair), though she doesn't love him either. She keeps telling him that it is over, but keeps coming back.

In terms of pacing, the film is quite slow, as one could expect of such a chiefly character driven venture. I found it quite remarkable that the film never shies away from silence; often we are left with time to ponder the character's words as they themselves do. In some films this might be a distraction, but this film seems to utilize this technique quite well.

The film is also remarkable in terms of its visual metaphors. The cop and his wife sleep in separate beds, with his being smaller and lower, and hers more plush and up off the ground. This makes it so that she is always in a commanding position in their nighttime encounters. Also, during one of the film's later moments, the two converse on a carousel. The rising and lowering of the horses seems to visually remind us of their sexual problems, and when his advances are rebuffed he seems to become small and limp, reminding us of his impotence.

As with many films of its type, it leaves us with more questions than answers, but truthfully when a film attempts to grasp a question so deep as "What is love?" Can an answer truly be given?

Rating: R
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Angel on the Right (Farishtay Kitfi Rost) - (2002, Tajikistan)

2005-02-05T22:13:00.000-08:00

Spokane International Film Festival (Day 3) - First off, let me set the stage for this a little bit. Katrina met me as I got off work at 5:00. She warned that there was already a pretty big line for the film... Thanking myself for having the forethought to actually reserve tickets, we rushed over to the AMC and cut past the ridiculous line to snag our tickets from will call.

Knowing 'Hickville' (aka Spokane) the way I do, I was expecting that this would be playing in one of the smaller theatres and would play to, at best, a half-full theatre. WRONG!! We were in one of the huge auditoriums and the place was *packed*... Kat and I ended up in the back row right under the projector as it was the only place we could find two seats together. By the time the film started the was just a few single seats left in the theatre. They actually had to delay the start of the film to accommodate the people still in line to get tickets.

The sight gave me hope for cinema in Spokane.

Anyway, on to the films...

First the Australian short film Fetch (1998, Dir: Lynn-Maree Danzey) told us the story of a young man arriving at a lady's apartment for their first date. While he waits for his date to get ready, he casually plays with her dog and its favorite toy: a red ball. He grows disinterested and steps out onto her balcony for a bit of fresh air. After coming back in, he sits down and naturally leaves the balcony wide open as he nonchalantly tosses the ball around. Oops! You can guess what comes next......or can you? The end of the film left me completely speechless! Dark comedy at its best!

And now, our feature presentation...

Made in Tajikistan, Angel on the Right (2002, Dir: Djamshed Usmonov) tells the story of a Moscow criminal, named Hamro, who is returning home to pay his final respects to his dying mother... or so he thinks! In reality, he has been duped by her into coming back to renovate her home and put in a long promised fence gate. Hamro's life is made even more complicated by the fact that he owes just about everyone money (the mayor, the door-maker, the Russian mob, etc.), and the sudden discovery of a long-forgotten son.

Hamro is a shockingly cruel man who has never taken responsibility for much of anything and plot of the film revolves around the possibility of his redemption. Will it come in the form of his mother, his illegitimate son, his mother's nurse (who he nearly rapes and before she falls in love with him!?), or will it even come at all? The answer is given to us in the powerful final shot of the film.

The theme of redemption fits well with the title, whose origins come from an Islamic tale of two angels that rest on each person's shoulders; the angel on the left records evil deeds and the angel on the right records good deeds. On judgement day these deeds will be weighed to determine the final resting place of a person's soul.

The pacing of the film is remarkably different from anything a your typical ADHD American audience would be used to. The film gradually drifts along, featuring extremely long takes of its characters doing relatively mundane actions. You could easily find yourself bored to tears if not for the fascination that the glimpse into everyday Tajikistani life brings.

Another point of interest is that the film, though very dark in places, is intended to be a comedy of sorts. The humor is very subtle and though you will seldom find yourself belly-laughing, the wry, dark comedy will bring a grin to your face more than once.

Overall, I enjoyed the film and I am looking forward tomorrow's post Super Bowl screening of the Chinese film, "The Green Hat."

Rating: R
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Maria Full of Grace - (2004)

2005-02-05T10:55:00.000-08:00

Maria Full of Grace (written and directed by Joshua Marston) is the story of seventeen-year-old Columbian girl who becomes a drug mule in the hopes of giving her child a better life. The story seems compelling enough on the surface, but ultimately falls short.

The script is plodding and deliberate. The story starts slow, ends slow, and moves S-L-O-W! While this does work to remarkable effectiveness during the scenes that she is actually swallowing, transporting, and delivering the drugs, during the rest of the film I found myself terminally bored.

In addition, the last act of the film seems very contrived. The presence of Maria's friend (also a mule) truly adds nothing to the story and in fact, her only apparent purpose is to do imbecilic things and make Maria's life even more complicated. I would have rather seen Maria isolated and alone, instead of stuck with a moronic, dumpy tag-along.

Unfortunately, the rest of the characters in the film don't fare much better. Aside from Maria herself, only Lucy, another mule Maria befriends, could hold my attention.

The single most compelling part of the film is the radiant performance of Catalina Sandino Moreno. I can't wait to see more from her in the years to come.

The film is worth seeing simply for Moreno and for the scenes specifically dealing the drug transport. It's a shame, really. The premise had such potential...

Rating: OK
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Spokane International Film Festival - (2005)

2005-02-04T11:42:00.000-08:00

Who knew? Spokane actually is trying!

February 3rd - 10th, fifteen films will be screened at the Riverpark Square AMC. They include films from India, Japan, Tajikistan, Argentina, Slovenia, China, South Korea, Austria, Germany, Poland, and the United States. Many of these films will be screened for the first time in the US.

I will personally be seing (at least) five films at the festival (starting tomorrow) and will report on what I see...

More Info: http://www.spokanefilmfestival.com

Million Dollar Baby - (2004)

2005-02-03T17:28:00.000-08:00

One word: WOW!

As much as I *adore* Sideways, I have just seen the film of the year.

Simply a stunning film. A week spent playing the "don't you dare fucking tell me because I haven't seen it yet" game paid off bigtime...

I could go on about how amazing Eastwood, Freeman, and Swank are, how great the script is, and how the directing just blew me away, but you've already heard it all.

Whatever you do just stay away from spoilers and get your ass to this movie, RIGHT NOW!

Rating: HR
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Shaun of the Dead - (2004)

2005-02-01T19:36:00.000-08:00

The second of my quick hits for the day... Shaun of the Dead is a film that parodies all the classic zombie move stereotypes, but still manages to hold together as a film, instead of a series of funny skits. (Unlike other recent parodies like Scary Movie...)

The first act of the film is where it really shines... These two guys are just to dumb, drunk or oblivious to notice that the end of the world is upon them. "She is *so* drunk!!!" Priceless.

The final act is probably the script's weakest link; it basically becomes a classic zombie movie (not bad by any means, but nearly as funny and original).
Rating: R
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Collateral - (2004)

2005-02-01T19:32:00.000-08:00

First of two quick DVD hits...
I loved Jamie Foxx in this. His 'ordinary guy' performance is what makes this movie work. If he wasn't so damn believable I think it would just be another action/suspense movie.

Tom Cruise is a great villain too, (though what the hell is up with the white hair???)

Great script. Classic 'wrong place/wrong time' story. Kept me guessing throughout and even managed to surprise me on a number of occasions.
Rating: R+
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Closer - (2004)

2005-01-26T02:00:00.000-08:00

"I can't take my eyes off you..."

Damien Rice's "The Blower's Daughter" beautifully punctuates and bookends Closer, the tale of four people and their trials and tribulations of love.

It touches on many themes, including: "Can we choose who we fall in love with?" "What is the moment that love ends?" "Why can't we just let ourselves be loved?" "If we make a mistake are we better off lying?" The list goes on...

I loved this film... It seems to do everything so well. The script is perfectly subtle in its dialog and foreshadowing... Also, I was amazed that for a film that is as sexually charged as this one, there isn't a single "sex scene" in the classic sense. A tribute to Mike Nichols' directing.

By now we've all seen the accolades that Natalie Portman and Clive Owen have received for their roles and deservedly so... Especially Portman. However, I think Julia Roberts' performance was also phenomenal and perhaps was overlooked due to its subtlety...

If the film has a weakness, I would say that the way the all characters meet is a little contrived. Creative, perhaps. But contrived none the less.

Overall, it capped off a year of fantastic character driven films that has renewed my faith in the "character study"...

Rating: HR
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Oscar Noms Reaction

2005-01-26T01:54:00.000-08:00

Where is Paul Giamatti???

I'm stunned frankly. This marks the second year in a row that he has been overlooked (also for last year's American Splendor). Clint Eastwood's nomination surprised me, but I haven't seen Million Dollar Baby yet so I can't commment on it. Ditto for Don Cheadle. Johnny Depp was solid and in many ways perfectly subtle in Finding Neverland, but it didn't initially strike me as an Oscar calibur performance. All this discussion I suppose is probably moot since, the hype machine is practically engraving Jamie Foxx's name on the statue. I'm not sure how exactly I feel about two of the acting front runners (Foxx and Blanchett) being nominated for doing what amounts to an impersonation of a famous person...

Other reations of note...

Alan Alda, Best Supporting Actor, The Aviator - I thought he deserved a nom, but didn't think he would get it.

Fahrenheit 9/11 - Shut out. Not surprising since Michael Moore didn't even submit it in the documentary category. Look on the bright side, George W. Bush is the front runner for the "Worst Actor" Razzie.

Jim Caviezel was (not surprisingly) ignored for the controversial Passion... Though I find it funny that everyone made such a big deal about Charlize Theron making herself ugly and how her "sacrifice for her art" made her such a great actor. Same with Nicole Kidman and her funny nose in The Hours in 2002. Caviezel learned Aramaic, dislocated his shoulder, got struck by lightning *twice*, and was accidentally lashed multiple times...

What's with the biopics? *Three* best picture noms fall into this category...

Again with the Sideways controvesry, but why is it that the guy who I thought was the weakest part of the film (Thomas Haden Church) gets a nod, but the guy who acted his ass off and generally carried the film (Giamatti) gets passed over?

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AvP: Alien vs. Predator - (2004)

2005-01-23T13:54:00.000-08:00

Note - This post is for Jon and Tim, so they will get off my back...

Ever have one of those nights where you get liquored up real, *real* good and make a very poor decision? It usually involes someone you meet at the bar named "Big Bertha" who is about as attractive as a skunk under your left-front tire... The next morning you realize you have made a mistake, but in the heat of the moment you couldn't care less. You're drunk dammit!

A while back, (like August), I got liquored up real, *real* good and made a very bad decision. Somehow, I came to the conclusion that the uber-geeky, fan-boy's masterbatory fantasy known as AvP would be a good movie to see. We knew it would be rough, so, just as you would before heading back to your new "friend's" place, I pounded all the extra CH₃CH₂OH that my body could handle, prayed that the ticket-taker wouldn't guess my BAC from my breath, staggered to my seat, and prepared myself to see a very shitty movie.

Now, you know those moments when you are about to lay the wood to your new-found companion and you suddenly have the epiphany that despite the fact that you can't stand, can't feel 90% of your body, and somehow think that the wobbling of the celing fan is the funniest shit you've ever seen, you take one look at "Beautiful Big Bertha" and realize that you *still* aren't drunk enough? That moment pretty much sums up the experience of AvP.

The plot is a direct rip off of Lovecraft's "At the Mountains of Madness" (Team journey to the plains of Antarctica and discovers the ruins of an ancient alien people, then shit happens, etc.)

The characters are so generic that we could, even in our drunkeness, identify the following characters within the first five minutes: the 'spunky-but-lovable-nerd-who-will-get-waxed-early-so-we-will-feel-bad-guy', the 'badass-dude-who-will-should-make-it-but-will-be-killed-so-that-we-think-the-monsters-are-badass-guy', and the 'take-charge-female-who-will-be-the-only-one-who-lives-girl'.

"But wait!" you say. "This movie isn't about characters or plot! All I care about is the uber-geek action!" Sorry. Even the fights are so predictable that you will find yourself (before a fight even starts) knowing exactly when the monster will jump out, exactly how the fight will progress, and certainly how the fight will end. Hell! Take a good guess at what cheesy one-liner will be dropped and you will probably be right. Ummm... "Die, you like ugly mother-fucker!" Bingo!

Simply put: This film sucks. Even a pre-teen fanboy who bought a ticket to the latest Disney film and snuck into AvP would think that it was a pile of shit.

So just like the morning after "Big Bertha", I was left with not only a hangover, but the shame of having to face my friends, them knowing full well what I did the night before...

Rating: NR (Yes, even after a fifth of JD...)
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Five Easy Pieces - (1970)

2005-01-21T03:09:00.000-08:00

Strangely enough, I had never heard of this film until recently. I happened to pick up one of those "Great Hollywood Moments" books on clearance and found a priceless scene on the accompanying DVD:

Jack Nicholson is sitting at a roadside diner trying to order breakfast with a side of toast, from a snippy waitress who allows "no substitutions!" The devious Jack, retorts by ordering a Chicken Salad sandwich: hold the butter, lettuce, mayo, and the *chicken*! The surly waitress snaps: "You want me to hold the chicken, huh?" To which Jack says (as only he can): "I want you to hold it between your knees!" Needless to say, I had to get hold of this movie! What I discovered... was stunning.

Jack plays a moody, violent man, who lashes out at those around him including his ditzy girlfriend (played by Best Supporting Actress Nominee Karen Black). Frankly, he is an asshole. But, as the film slowly reveals more, we realize that Jack is far more complex than we ever could have imagined.

This film is a brilliant character study in the highest order, featuring thought-provoking dialogue and amazing acting right up to the film's breathtaking final shot. I can't recommend it enough.

Historical Note - This film is significant for two reasons. First, truly character driven films were mostly unheard of at the time this was released, so it is fair to say that Five Easy Pieces paved the way for many of the best films of today. Second, Jack Nicholson displays raw emotion (read: uncontrollable tears) in this film, which was also unprecedented for a male, "tough-guy" actor.

Rating: HR
More Info ~~>

Garden State - (2004)

2005-01-20T17:33:00.000-08:00

God I love Oscar season... One good film after another! (I know this was released quite a while ago, but still...)

Garden State is the story of young man named Andrew (Zach Braff) who returns home after years away when his mother dies. Once home he must deal with his estranged father and all the friends he left behind. Until he meets a girl, Sam, (Natalie Portman) who changes his life...

Wait... you think you've heard this story before? You don't know shit.

You see, Andrew has been on just about every med imaginable since he was a young teen, and now he is off the pills and just waking up...

Wait... Now you think you've heard *this* story before? No really. Trust me... You don't know shit.

Are you sensing a patten? To describe the story, it seems to be formulamatic, yet it is anything but. It is so absurd and yet it resonates so deeply. Amazing acting.

A fantastic and enjoyable film.

Rating: HR
More Info ~~>

Kinsey - (2004)

2005-01-09T11:00:00.000-08:00

This film blew me away... The acting is simply phenomenal... Liam Neeson is outstanding as Professor Kinsey, as is Laura Linney as his wife, "Mac" Kinsey. Both should get Oscar nominations for their performances. John Lithgow will likely get overlooked, but his performance is amazing as well.

This doesn't even touch on the story which is the remarkable biopic of the man who changed the way we look at sex education forever... moving it from "Hygene" classes filled with rumors, half-truths and flat-out lies, to making sexuality a scientific study.

The feeling I left with after seeing this movie was not oly that it is so amazing how things are so different that they were before Dr. Kinsey... But how frightening that so many things are very much the same...

Rating: R+
More Info ~~>

My Favorite Films of 2004

2005-01-06T01:36:00.000-08:00

I'm in the mood to write, so here goes... (in no particular order)

Note - I said "favorite", not "best"...

Sideways - Probably the best character study I have seen in a long time. Paul Giamatti in stellar. Pinot Noir rules BTW.

The Aviator - Succeeds on every level. Leo finally gets a chance to shake off the Titanic hangover he's had forever. Very Oscar friendly picture. By no means Scorsese's best, but if he doesn't get an statue for this one, he never will.

Hero - I loved this movie. Great storytelling. Even better cinematography. Fantastic fight sequences.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - I loved the surrealism of this film. Jim Carrey finally gets a film where his acting lives up to the hype. Give the guy a nod! He's earned it.

The Passion of the Christ - All the controversy drowned out the fact that this film was absolutely remarkable.

Dawn of the Dead - Best WTF moment of 2004 film: "Get up, come on get down with the sickness... You mother get up, come on get down with the sickness... You fucker get up, come on get down with the sickness..."

Spiderman 2 - Easily the best summer film of 2004 and one of the best comic book pictures of all time.

Napolean Dynamite - This movie had to be the stupidest movie ever... I mean no plot, little acting to speak of, and committed the unforgivable sin of helping bring back moon boots... So somebody tell me why I can't stop quoting it? Pick up line of the year: "I see you're drinking 1%, is that because you think you're fat?"

The Grudge - That fucking kid was creepy!

Friday Night Lights - Fantastic film. Tragic and inspiring all at that same time. Billy Bob Thorton is spectacular, as is Tim McGraw (yes, that Tim McGraw.) IMHO the most underrated film of the year.

That concludes my little list... I'd like to get this blog back up and running, so hopefully I'll have more posts coming soon.

Fahrenheit 9/11

2004-06-27T20:38:00.000-07:00

Where do I start?

Michael Moore has an agenda. Is the agenda to reveal the truth of the war in Iraq? No. The agenda is to get a portray President Bush in the the least favorable light possible. He succeeds remarkably.

Of course, if you are reasonable well read, nothing you see in this film will come as a shocker. We already know how Bush has altered the facts to "dupe America" (Moore's words). The story of the Bush's strong ties to Saudi oil, I have not heard in such depth, but they really don't surprise me. Again, Cheney's ties to Halliburton are nothing new.

The film is at its best when is showing Bush as incompetant. I'll never forget the dazed look on Bush's face as the WTC burns and he reads 'My Pet Goat' for seven minutes.

Of the 9/11 attacks themselves, the planes are not shown, instead all we see is a black screen with audio, followed by reaction shots from people in NYC, then ash and papers. Moore's choice here is disturbingly effective. We don't need to see the plane footage again, it will be burned into our minds until the day we die...

The sad thing about this film is that the truth really would be enough. But that wasn't good enough for Moore. At one point he shows us how "happy" the people in "Sovereign Nation of Iraq" were in March 2003. Saddam might as well be an angel for all Moore is concerned.

He also can't seem to make up his mind on whether or not we should feel sorry for our troops. Late in the film we are heartbroken by the story of a fallen soldier who had written in his final letter to his family that he had lost all faith in Bush, but he seemingly expects us to forget the footage of soldiers rolling through Iraq cranking "Let the bodies hit the floor" or "the roof is on fire." It really comes as no surprise that conservatives viewed this point as an "attack on our servicemen"...

Finally, Moore's bravado is a little too much. After watching the Mother of the aforementioned soldier weep uncontrollably in front of the White House, Moore puts the spotlight back on himself and confronts members of congress with recruiting documents for the Armed Forces.

A side note - Sorry Michael. But the 'R' Rating is deserved. A public beheading, footage of mangled Iraqis, and the burned corpses of American contractors in the Falljah massacre are more than enough to justify it.

Overall, Fahrenheit 9/11 is a good film to see if all you have seen is what CNN has been telling you and want an alternate view, but don't expect to find the truth in this film. For that, read more and find it for yourself.

RATING: OK+

What The #$&! Do We Know!?

2004-06-14T09:21:00.000-07:00

What do you get you mix cutting edge quantum physics with spirituality? Bio-chemistry with philosophy? Do we really 'see' what we see? Are we addicts to our own emotions? What is happening in your brain? What can science tell us about God? What the #$&! do we know!?

This Portland-based indie film/documentary tackles so many topics it is nearly overwhelming, but it grabs your interest so completely that you barely realize that you are drowning in new ideas until there is no turning back. It features a loose backstory and mixes in special FX and interviews with some 'experts' in physics, medicine, biology, and spirituality to attempt to complete a more complete modern view of the universe and ourselves.

I am truly delighted to see a film like this made, because I feel too often modern people look at science and philosphy or spirituality as two very seperate and conflicting entities when in fact, they can be considered in a complimentary status.

Ultimately, the film's biggest failing is that it is overly 'New Agey' and tends to be seriously preachy. I'm not sure I'm quite ready to believe that happy thoughts form pretty water crytals, thank you very much, but the ideas that we become addicted to our emotions and we subconciously create situations to fulfill them holds significantly more merit.

You may not agree with everything (I didn't), you may not believe everything (I cetainly didn't), but you will certainly be left with enough food for thought to have a feast, plus leftovers for days...

RATING: R

Edited - 06/14/2004 - 9:20PM

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

2004-06-04T03:01:00.000-07:00

Finally a summer film that doesn't disappoint! Harry Potter's latest adventure lives up to the high standards that the previous two films have set and faithfully (for the most part) recreates the book from which it was based.

Fitting with the spirit of the substantially darker novel, the series' new director Alfonso Cuarón brings us to a Hogwarts that is much more tangible (and frightening) than the fairytale place we have seen in prior films. Perhaps one of the ways he accomplishes this is by not focusing on all the oddities that make Hogwarts so fantastical, but instead taking them for granted and leaving them to the background.

The script itself move along a breakneck pace, perhaps even a little too fast in some instances (even though the film's 136 minute runtime is nothing to scoff at). The story is simple enough, so it's not as though people unfamiliar with the novels are in danger of being left behind, but some scenes of emotional significance seem rushed instead of savored. On the flipside, little time is wasted with the "cutesy" sequences that dotted the first two films and tended to make them drag a bit...

My single biggest complaint about the film, is the same one I have had about all the previous Potter films: the FX are inconsistant at best... With the exception of the Dementors (which are generally fantastic), a creature (like Buckbeak) might look convincing in one shot and jarringly CG in the next.

Overall Potter is well worth a trip to the theatre and is a welcome escape from the (so far) dreadful summer 2004 movie season...

Interesting comparisons to the book:
The last ~1/2 of the movie is basically *everything* from the last 1/4 of the book.
One *very* strange omission is that we never learn who the authors of the Marauder's Map really are...

RATING: HR

Van Helsing

2004-05-15T14:25:00.000-07:00

Some things in this life work best when lubricated. Your car’s engine: lubricated with Pennzoil. Sex after 50: lubricated with KY. Van Helsing: lubricated with Jack Daniel’s. In the doldrums of sobriety there is no way you could possibly enjoy Van Helsing. The plot is ridiculous, the dialogue is worse, and the acting borders on what you’d find in student film. But… loosen up… toss back a few cold ones… and Van Helsing will simply make your day!

Example: Were you sober, it might bother you that Dracula’s minions look like Jawas with gasmasks. But, in a... shall we say… “more relaxed” state, you will be delighted to shout “Houtini!” whenever one gets burnt to a crisp.

When properly lubricated, Van Helsing is the best bad movie I have seen in a very long time.

RATING: R

Preview of upcoming films – May 2004

2004-04-19T14:08:00.000-07:00

Van Helsing – (May 7th)
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale
Director: Stephen Sommers

In short: Jackman plays the famous monster hunter as he battles the Wolf-Man, Frankenstein, and eventually Dracula himself.

My take: One listen to Kate Beckinsale’s horrible attempt at a Romanian accent should be all you need to understand just how bad this movie could suck. Still, the effects look cool and I dig watching Hugh Jackman act like a badass.

RATING: Worth Watching

New York Minute – (May 7th)
Starring: Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen, Eugene Levy
Director: Dennie Gordon

In short: In the motion picture debut of the Olsen twins, the uptight sister (Ashley), and the rocker sister (Mary-Kate) are forced to team up when Ashley’s daytimer is mistakenly involved in a black-market music piracy scam. Hot on their tails is a wacky truancy officer (Eugene Levy).

My take: If I were 14 and a girl I *might* want to see this movie.

RATING: Ho Hum

Valentin – (May 7th)
Starring: Julieta Cardinali
Director: Alejandro Agresti

In short: Set in turbulent 1969 Argentina, Valentin is the story of an eight-year-old boy whose eccentric parents drive him to seek out a real family. On his quest he touches the lives of those around him.

My take: Looks to be a charming tale about life and family told through the eyes of a child.

RATING: Worth Watching

Troy – (May 14th)
Starring: Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom, Diane Kruger, Peter O'Toole
Director: Wolfgang Peterson

In short: Epic story of the Trojan War based on Homer’s Iliad. (You do remember reading it in high school, don’t you?)

My take: Ever since my first taste in grade school, I have been addicted to Greek myths. Sadly, I am still waiting for a big screen production to do them justice (and yes! I have seen Clash of the Titans and shame on you for even thinking about it!). With great casting and a competent director at the helm, this film should finally put my waiting to an end.

RATING: Must See

Breakin’ all the Rules – (May 14th)
Starring: Jamie Foxx, Morris Chestnut, Gabrielle Union
Director: Daniel Taplitz

In short: Jamie Foxx gets dumped and then becomes famous for writing a book that tells everyone to dump their lover, before they get dumped. This all backfires when Jamie falls for his best friend’s girl, *after* helping him break-up with her…

My take: I’ve got a better idea: Everyone should dump the idea of going see this movie, before their money gets dumped on this piece of crap.

RATING: Avoid At All Costs

Coffee and Cigarettes – (May 14th)
Starring: Bill Murray, Cate Blanchett, GZA, RZA, Steve Buscemi, Iggy Pop, Tom Waits, Alfred Molina, Roberto Benigni, Steven Wright, Jack White, Meg White
Director: Jim Jarmusch

In short: This ensemble comedy is a series of vignettes all involving discussion over coffee and cigarettes. Discussions include caffeine popsicles, the movie industry, Paris in the 20's, Nicola Tesla, and much more...

My take: Rarely has a film looked so unique and hilarious.

RATING: Worth Watching

Shrek 2 – (May 21th)
Starring: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas, John Lithgow, John Cleese, Julie Andrews
Director(s): Andrew Adamson, Kelly Asbury, Conrad Vernon

In short: Shrek (Myers) and Fiona (Diaz) return home to meet her (disapproving) parents.

My take: The original was hilarious, but file this one under ‘sequels we never really needed’.

RATING: Ho Hum

The Day After Tomorrow – (May 28th)
Starring: Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Emmy Rossum, Sela Ward, Ian Holm
Director: Roland Emmerich

In short: The world is smashed by changes in the ocean currents in this disaster film brought to you by the creators of Independence Day.

My take: This film has high suck potential, but the effects look neat (if seeing NYC getting smashed apart is your thing) and the shot of thousands of Americans in mass exodus across the Mexican border amuses me.

RATING: Morbidly Curious

Raising Helen – (May 28th)
Starring: Kate Hudson, Helen Mirren, Joan Cusack, John Corbett
Director: Garry Marshall

In short: The cool aunt (Kate Hudson) is stuck with her sister’s kids after a tragic accident. Her career plans are put on hold, but she learns a lot about herself and falls in love.

My take: The minute I read anything about this film I thought, could there possibly be a more formula film? And that was *before* I heard “(Your love has lifted me) Higher and Higher” playing over the trailer. Odds are Hudson and the kids will lip-synch this song into a hairbrush before the film ends.

RATING: Avoid At All Costs (The only way I would see this film is if I was strapped to a chair with my eyelids pried open ala Malcolm McDowell in A Clockwork Orange and the trauma would still make me have violent seizures whenever I heard “(Your love has lifted me) Higher and Higher.”)

Soul Plane – (May 28th)
Starring: Kevin Hart, Snoop Dogg, Missi Pyle, Ryan Pinkston, Method Man, Tom Arnold
Director: Jessy Terrero

In short: Dakwan (Hart) wins a multi-million dollar settlement and founds his own airline with sexy flight-attendants and in-flight dance parties. A white family (headed by Tom Arnold) is accidentally booked.

My take: It’s nice to know blaxploitation films are still alive a well.

RATING: Ho Hum

Baadassss! – (May 28th)
Starring: Mario Van Peebles, Rainn Wilson, David Alan Grier
Director: Mario Van Peebles

In short: Mario Van Peebles stars as his own father, Melvin, in the story of the struggles he endured in the making of Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song; the film that ushered in the Blaxploitation era of the 70’s.

My take: A fascinating look at guerrilla filmmaking.

RATING: Worth Watching

Saved! – (May 28th)
Starring: Jena Malone, Mandy Moore, Macaulay Culkin, Patrick Fugit
Director: Brian Dannelly

In short: Jena Malone and Mandy Moore star as two popular girls at a Christian high school. Malone ends up pregnant after she tries to ‘save’ a friend who she believes is gay and quickly finds herself as an outcast amongst her judgmental peers.

My take: The film is a religious satire focusing on the dangers associated with youthful religious fever mixed with a world that is not always so black-and-white. Given that the film is being marketed to Christian youth, I am curious to see if this film can expose the problems of intolerance without trashing religion entirely.

RATING: Morbidly Curious

A look ahead to June: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkban, Spiderman 2, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, The Stepford Wives, White Chicks, Dodgeball, Garfield, and more!

Kill Bill, Vol. 2

2004-04-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

When describing Kill Bill, Vol. 2, people have thrown around a lot of words like "brilliant" and "amazing"... and as much as I really wanted to agree... I just can't. Kill Bill has the makings of a great film, but is ultimately damaged by the one man who gave birth to its potential greatness: Tarantino. Quentin has never learned that sometimes characters just need to *shut up.*

At what should have been a thrilling climax to a film that had been witty and enjoyable, we are betrayed and bored to tears by 20 minutes of useless flashbacks and wandering dialog. Worse still, he completely ignores the moral ambiguity of the Bride's mission that was so clearly established in the opening moments of Vol. 1.

RATING: R (Only because the first hour-and-a-half are so entertaining)

Hellboy

2004-04-10T21:35:00.000-07:00

An interesting mix of Nazi-era pulp, superhero comics, and H.P. Lovecraft, Hellboy is an entertaining two hours of popcorn. The plot is as shallow as a river in August, but you probably won't even notice over the combination of Ron Pearlman's wise-cracks and the top-notch FX wizardry. (Particularly neat are the howling, tentacle-covered beasts that Hellboy battles at seemingly every turn.) The unfortunate downside to these elements is that the film is that it tends to drag when either Pearlman or the tentacle beasts aren't on screen.

Overall, you won't feel that your life or mind is enriched by a viewing of Hellboy, but you certainly will forget your troubles for about 120 minutes...

RATING: R

Dawn of the Dead

2004-04-01T21:15:00.000-08:00

Simply a fantastic zombie film. The opening of this film manages to perfectly convey a sense of chaos and confusion, while at the same time being *creepy as hell!* This feeling is sustained throughout the film right up to the final "home video" dénouement over the end credits. Definitely a fun ride!

The characters are (as in most horror films) largely disposable, but still manage to capture our interests without being overly formulistic.

The truest test - A certain (male) friend of mine (not naming any names) even admitted to having trouble sleeping after seeing this film...

RATING: R+

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

2004-03-21T19:30:00.000-08:00

In films past, we have heard that Jim Carrey is really a good actor and not just the goofball from Ace Ventura or The Mask... Yet when push came to shove, his performances in films such as The Truman Show were, in reality, nothing special. Well... Jim Carrey's time has finally come. His melancholy and repressed performance is nothing short of amazing...

The rest of the cast is superb as well, including great character performances by current "IT" actors Elijha Wood and Kirsten Dunst.

Director Michel Gondry creates of the best depictions of the surrealism of dreams that I have ever seen. Little surprise that the film was also penned by Charlie Kaufman (author of screen gems Adaptation and Being John Malkovich).

We should be hearing about this film again come Oscar season.

RATING: HR

The Passion of the Christ

2004-03-07T16:30:00.000-08:00

Mel Gibson's Passion has sparked controversy in so many ways...

Some say the film is anti-Semetic. If this is true, then you have to say the Gospels are anti-Semetic as well, since Gibson's story of Jesus follows them very close.

Some say the film is overly violent. Being raised Catholic; this complaint makes little sense to me. Catholics have always meditated on how Jesus suffered, so Gibson's portrayal was about as horrific as I have always imagined the crucifixion to be.

((~~ An interesting side note that you Catholics out there might have picked up on... Did it seem to you like the film paused at points mirroring the Stations of the Cross? It did to me...))

Some say that it is flawed for focusing only on Jesus death. Hello??? It is called "The *PASSION* of the Christ." Focusing on the passion alone is the singular point of the film.

Some say that it is a bad film in general. I disagree. I feel that Mel Gibson has created a brilliant and moving piece that easily ranks as one of the greatest religious films of all time.

RATING: R (see the film for yourself and form your own opinion)

Starsky and Hutch

2004-03-07T14:00:00.000-08:00

When you put Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, and Snoop Dogg in a film about 70's cops, you would think that you could have a pretty funny movie. Add in psuedo-lesbianism from Amy Smart and Carmen Electra and you might hope to have a damn fine movie... Well... You hopes would be largely wasted on this film. It's too bad really. Don't get me wrong... The film has its funny moments... and is by no means a total pile of crap... but by and large, you can sum up the film in a word: disappointing.

RATING: OK

The Silver Screen

Jarhead - (2005)

Sin City 2 - "A Dame to Kill For..."

The Aristocrats (2005)

Back at it... (aka 6-month recap)

Oscar "shocker!"... Chris Rock is controversial!

Spokane International Film Festival Roundup - (2005)

Heaven - (2002, Italy)

Run Lola Run (Lola rennt) - (1998, Germany)

Million Dollar Baby (Revisited)

The Thin Man - (1934, USA)

The Green Hat (Lu mao zi) - (2004, China)

Angel on the Right (Farishtay Kitfi Rost) - (2002, Tajikistan)

Maria Full of Grace - (2004)

Spokane International Film Festival - (2005)

Million Dollar Baby - (2004)

Shaun of the Dead - (2004)

Collateral - (2004)

Closer - (2004)

Oscar Noms Reaction

AvP: Alien vs. Predator - (2004)

Five Easy Pieces - (1970)

Garden State - (2004)

Kinsey - (2004)

My Favorite Films of 2004

Fahrenheit 9/11

What The #$&! Do We Know!?

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Van Helsing

~~ Preview of upcoming films – May 2004 ~~

Kill Bill, Vol. 2

Hellboy

Dawn of the Dead

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

The Passion of the Christ

Starsky and Hutch

Preview of upcoming films – May 2004